There are probably two versions of the backyard wedding and both of them can be seen in the Steve Martin version of Father of the Bride.

You may remember that moment when Steve Martin daydreams of his daughter’s wedding complete with picnic tables, paper table cloths, homemade cake, a garden flower bouquet and Steve Martin himself manning the grill with hotdogs and hamburgers.

If I ever have a daughter, that’s how it’s going down.

What actually happens in the movie is an extravagant wedding that would rival a n event thrown in The Breakers. A custom tent, swans, cakes imported flower beds, valet parking and a world class chef does the catering.

I’ve I ever have a daughter, that’s how she’s going to want it to go down. She’s going to be very upset with me.

Believe it or not, but I’ve actually been to a backyard wedding that met these two versions almost right in the middle.

This was a house that I had been to many, many times. I knew the backyard. When I first heard that the wedding was going to be there, I thought, “Get the grill fired up man!”

When the actual day came, my mouth dropped to the floor . . . or grass as the case may have been.

You would be absolutely amazed at what some lighting, a tent and some rentals from Atlas Party Rental can do (yes, the rentals were really from our friends at Atlas). I wouldn’t have believed that a backyard could have been transformed like it was. Everything was beautiful.

The family rented a tent (not as elaborate as the Father of the Bride tent), some tables and chairs, linens, tableware and that was about it. The rest of the décor was all homemade and looked great. But the real thing that made this wedding so amazing was that it was really all about the guests.

They saved a good amount of money on several different aspects of the wedding and put it all towards making this a true celebration for their guests. There was an open bar, an excellent dinner and a great DJ.

My favorite touch? As the night wore on and you start to look for that second wind, they fired up a massive grill and cooked up delicious hamburgers and hotdogs. It was truly epic. Because there was no limit on the time for the venue, we partied until the sun came up and they even had breakfast prepared. It was one of the best weddings I’ve ever been to and it was done on a very modest budget.

It’s something to consider.

It’s quickly becoming summer in the rest of the country. That’s right: our neighbors to the north can begin to come outside without the fear of dying of frostbite and hypothermia.

That’s always pretty sweet.

Now that things are warming up, I wanted to take a quick moment to give some advice to those who have to stay inside for 6 months out of the year. I mean, after all, we do get to practice having outside events and parties all year round.

Here are a few scenarios, and their possible solutions for you to consider:

Scenario 1: Insect Invasion

Apparently human beings aren’t the only living things on the planet who love parties. Bees love to crawl over our brightly colored tablecloths and clothes. Ants love our burgers, hot dogs and cakes more than we do . . . and there are a lot more of them than there are of us.

Solutions: For Bees there are a couple tricks. Use Marigolds as the centerpiece of tables or decorations. Bees hate Marigolds. It’s true. Buy a couple to two-liters of soda and open them the night before the party. Then, pour the flat soda into some discreet containers and place them on the outskirts of the party away from where your guests will be. Bees go after the sweets like crazy (hummingbird food works too). Also, keep everything covered, especially the trash.

Ants are tougher, but can be managed. If you’re hitting up picnic tables, put some double sided tape around the legs of the tables and chairs. The ants will stick to it. Also, put some chalk around the legs of the table. Ants don’t like chalk believe it or not. Cayenne pepper sprinkled down their ant hills and a spray bottle with equal parts water and white vinegar will also work.

Scenario 2: The Splash

You’re having a nice, pool side gathering at night and SPLASH, someone falls in.

Solution: Keep your pool well lit!

Scenario 3: The Big Thaw

I’m screaming, you’re screaming, everyone is screaming for ice cream. Ice cream; not a melted bowl of chocolate cookie dough goop. Ice cream isn’t the only thing that melts. Most of our delicious pastries and desserts have cream or dairy based fillings or frostings. If left outside too long they absolutely disintegrate (especially in direct sunlight).

Solution: It might look great to have a beautiful dessert spread, but unless you lug a refrigerated bakery case into your back yard, keep the desserts inside and chilled until you’re ready to put them out. (This will also reduce the risk of ants and bees crashing your party).

Scenario 4: That Sinking Feeling

You’re looking good in your high heels. You’re strutting your stuff all over the place and you feel great about it. You don’t even care where you’re going and then you notice that you’re sinking straight down into the grass. High heels aren’t the only objects that are vulnerable to this plague. I’ve seen people sit in chairs that also start sinking like they’re in quick sand. It isn’t fun for anyone.

Solution: For the heels, there are actually several products on the market designed to be slipped onto the points of your shoe that prevent the heel from stabbing into the ground. Google it!

As to the chairs: Do some research before you rent or buy chairs you’ll be using outside. Make sure that the legs of the chairs end in wide bases. If you already have the thin-footed chair, go buy a bunch of cheap tennis balls and cut a slit halfway through them. Slip the tennis ball on the feet of the chair. Problem solved.

Apparently the new James Bond doesn’t care if his Martinis are shaken or stirred. It was an iconic break for this classic pop-culture icon. If you didn’t see the Daniel Craig Casino Royale, you should check it out.

James Bond can order his drink however he wants.

The rest of us can try to be that cool, but without the sweet Astin Martin, it’s going to be tough. Trust me, I know. I tried to order a Martini shaken, not stirred, once and I got laughed right out of the bar. If I didn’t roll up in my stock Vespa Scooter, I know things would have been different.

I’m a Martini drinker from time to time. Real Martinis though . . . that means Gin, Dry Vermouth and Olives. Everyone else can say vodka is a real Martini, but they’re wrong.

I digress; this blog isn’t about vodka vs. gin Martinis (although it could be). Nope, it’s about an awesome thing I saw the other day on how to serve these bad boys.

The eternal problem for anyone who has ordered a Martini straight-up is the same problem that plagues white wine drinkers. We like the drinks chilled, but without ice, these drinks can get to room temperature in no time. If you add ice you run the risk of diluting the taste (and other properties) as it melts.

What to do?!

I was at a friend’s house a few weeks ago. He too, is a Martini drinker. He offered to make me one and I said of course. What he produced was new to me. Now I might be behind the times, but I’ve never seen a glass like the one he served me the Martini in.

It had the classic bowl of the Martini glasses we know and love, but no stem. Instead, the bowl was resting on the rim of another glass that was filled with ice. This way, the bowl remained chilled without the ice being in the liquid. It was amazing!

I realized that it wouldn’t only work for martinis. It could be used for anything!

You can shake it, stir it, throw it or smash it, but it is going to stay cold!

What is the best, unexpected thing you’ve ever seen that makes eating or drinking a classic a whole new experience?!

Here’s the question of the week: Who among you likes going to the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV)?

I’m going to go out on a limb and assume nobody answered yes. If you did, I’m so sorry. You might want to go get checked out by a psychologist or something.

The DMV is brutal. Everyone just sitting there waiting for their turn to go pay money to the government to register a car on which you just spent an even greater sum of money. They give you a number and you sit there alternately looking at the number ticker and catching the eyes of the other poor people stuck there with you.

At first you get spooked by the haunted, pain-filled look on their faces . . . and then you realize that you’re wearing the same haunted, pain-filled look on yours.

You just sit there. Waiting.

The number ticker changes. It isn’t your number (and it won’t be for at least 3 more hours). Some lucky bastard stands up, ecstatically smiles at everyone else, goes to the window and then bursts into tears as they’re informed that they didn’t bring the right forms and have to go back and start the process all over again.

And you just sit there. Waiting.

We’ve all been there. If it isn’t the DMV, it’s something else. The real tragedy is when it happens at an event.

Once, I attended an event that people were very excited about. There was one problem. It didn’t start on time.

The event had been advertised to start at 6:00pm. It was a big deal and some people even showed up earlier than that to be the first ones in.

The line grew and grew. 6:00 came and went. Then 6:15. Then 6:30 and 6:45.

People’s faces began to look haunted and pain-filled at around 7:00. By 7:30pm people were zombies. I instinctively started to reach for my forms to make sure that I brought the right documents so I didn’t have to go through the line again.

When the doors finally opened sweet relief swathed through crowd. It was short lived. Instead of gaining entrance to the party, we were ushered into an anteroom in order to “register” (which was an excuse to get our email addresses) and then shown some corporate videos for another half hour. By the time we finally entered the venue people were upset, disillusioned and openly hostile.

It was bad form. Most people stayed for a moment or two and then left. The company that threw the party was under new management or something. In truth, I didn’t stick around long enough for an explanation or to find out what had delayed our entrance to the party for over 2 hours.

Make sure that when you advertise a time for something to start that you open on time. If people are late that’s on them, but don’t pull a DMV. It’s not a decent way to treat people.

Have you ever been to a great party? The food is great. The music is kicking! Drinks are flowing. Everyone’s chatting? You’re standing there talking it up with friends and you see a beautiful woman across the way. You make eye contact. She smiles. You smile back and then. . .

. . . Bam! She bursts into flames and disappears in a cloud of smoke.

I don’t know about you, but it happens to me all the time.

We do live in Southern Florida you know. The sun gets serious from time to time.

I was at a great party not too long ago, but there was one problem: I got a serious sun burn because it was outside.

Now, I know that it is my responsibility to take care of myself, especially living in Florida. I am aware that the sun exists and that it has the power to incinerate things on occasion. However, this time there was only one problem, I didn’t know that the party was outside.

The party was at a venue I know well. I had incorrectly assumed that we would be inside the venue. Nothing that I had read about the party (on the invitation) indicated that it was outside. That usually isn’t a big deal. It was a nice day. Too nice of a day. It isn’t officially summer yet, but that doesn’t mean that the sun takes a break.

To exacerbate the situation was the fact that there was no shade whatsoever. Seriously, no tents, no nothing. I was a bit surprised. Usually there’s a little more concern about the sun. I’m not really sure why there wasn’t more thought given to the event being outside.

I actually found myself praying for rain! I kept sneaking inside to use the bathrooms. There was another group using the inside space, so I couldn’t hang out there for long before they started giving me the stink eye and it was back out to the inferno.

All I’m saying is, at the very least, if you’re having a party outside, make sure that your guests know that and can prepare accordingly. You don’t have to rent tents or Slip and Slides or anything, but with a little heads up people can at least wear sunblock.

So far I have been lucky with friends getting married. Most of my closest friends have all met and fallen in love with some great people. Even better, they’ve mostly met people who live in the same general area.

Why does this matter? Well, when you have a lot of friends (like a cool guy like myself does), going to a bunch of weddings can put a person’s wallet in a bad condition.

Most of my friends have gotten married close to home. It doesn’t hurt that sunny Florida happens to be a destination hotspot for thousands of people looking to get married every year. Why leave paradise to get married somewhere else?

Most of my friends seem to agree, but not all of them. I’ve had a couple of experiences with destination weddings. Some good. Some bad.

I don’t want people to think that the only thing I think of when I get invited to a wedding is cost, but it is a consideration. It has to be. I know that the happy couple has to think of a budget when planning their wedding. I know that when I get married that is a major part of the whole thing; but there is another aspect that I’m going to consider in addition to my own budget: the financial impact to my guests.

If you’re going to have a destination wedding things change a little bit when a majority of your guests can’t drive to the ceremony on one tank of gas. The focus can’t just be on you; you have to think of your guests.

Ask yourself some questions: How far can I reasonably ask people to travel? Do I want a big wedding or a smaller one? Who can I expect to attend if my wedding is outside of the continental United States? Will people have to take time off of work to get there? Is my wedding in a location that is easily accessible from the airport, or will my guests have to rent cars or arrange other transportation? How much do airline ticket prices cost? What will the average person have to spend in order to get to my wedding? Is the location of my wedding more important, or is being surrounded by friends and family? Will my guests be able to afford to bring their significant others and children? Can I afford to take some of the burden off of my guests by arranging transportation or accommodations?

Let’s face it. A destination wedding is a big deal. For the bride and groom, it is going to be one of the happiest days of their lives and I don’t blame them for wanting it somewhere beautiful that they will never forget . . . but not all of their invited guests can leave behind work, family or other responsibilities all that easily.

The best destination wedding that I attended almost made me feel as if I was the person getting married. The bride and groom had completely approached it from the perspective of their guests. Everything that was within reason was arranged for us. It was up to the individual guests on when to arrive and leave, but starting two days before the wedding, the bride and groom had arranged everything. They had meals set up for everyone as well as activities. You could spend the day on the beach, or you could go out on planned excursions. The couple almost acted as travel agents.

The night before the wedding they hosted an amazing dinner for all of their guests that they paid for in ADDITION to the wedding reception the next day. They constantly thanked people for taking the time to come share their special day with them and knew what a big deal it was for people to travel as far as they did; they repeatedly (starting with their wedding invitations) asked people not to bring gifts because they knew it wasn’t cheap to get there (if guests insisted on giving something, they asked that people donate to a charity to which they both had ties). The wedding itself was beautiful and simple. Much of their wedding budget went to making their guests feel comfortable.

I’ve had it go the other way too, but that’s a story for another blog sometime.

Just remember, when destiny delivers your soul mate and you want to celebrate that love with friends and family, please don’t make it hard for them to do so. Understand that the people you love want to celebrate with you and share your joy. Make sure you consider them when you’re deciding when and where that celebration will take place!

The world is full of rich and diverse cultures. We each have our own backgrounds. We are born into our families and that, for the most part, determines a great deal about who we become and the experiences we will have.

Our religious holidays are different, but that doesn’t mean that we are all that different. I grew up Catholic. Many of my friends were also Christian. Many of the blogs I’ve written talk about how my friends and family have celebrated holidays like Christmas and Easter. So far, my exposure to other religious holidays has been limited.

But I have the good fortune of having good friends from all walks of life.

Last year one of these friends invited me to celebrate a Passover Seder with her family. I had an acceptable understanding of what Passover was and what it meant to those who follow the Jewish Faith, but I had never been to a Passover celebration before.

I accepted her invitation but I didn’t know what to expect.

Everyone was dressed very nicely and the table was set beautifully. I have to admit that I’m not sure if the colors of the linens and plates had special significance or not, but everything looked perfect and like time and care was given to the presentation.

There was a large plate in the center of the table which I learned is the Sedar plate. On that plate were various foods that signify different aspects of the holiday. One some, like the Bitter Herbs and Shank Bone represented the struggle of the Israelites while they were slaves in Egypt while others like the Egg and Parsley symbolize the spring season and the circle of life. It seems as if Eggs are popular in both Christian and Jewish Spring Holidays.

We gathered and began to read from the Haggadah. The Haggadah tells the story of Passover all those young and old are encouraged to take part in the Sedar. After the Haggadah had been read there was a feast that made some of my family gatherings look like child’s play. I don’t remember what everything was called, not by a longshot, but I do remember delicious flavors and treats I had never had before. At the end of the night I was stuffed (well, actually half-way through the night I was stuffed).

One of the things that I found very surprising was during the Sedar the middle matza was broken in half. One half was placed back on the table and someone took the other half. I learned later that that half was called the afikomen and is hidden somewhere for the younger children to find. When the kids found the afikomen, they brought it back and got prizes from the adults. We then all shared in the afikomen as part of our dessert.

The evening was very special. It had begun in a solemn way but it ended just like any other party.

What I found to be the most fascinating was that no matter what the cause, we all DO celebrate. The foods, traditions and reasons may be different, but the happiness to be together, the joy in watching our children play, the comfort in being with family and friends is the same for us all.

So, whoever and wherever you are, have fun celebrating whatever holiday you choose!

As we get older, the mysteries of the universe are often replaced by the realities of life. The first big hit for me was when my grandmother asked me if I still believed in Santa Clause. When I said yes, her laughter permanently changed my view of the world.

It was a domino effect after that.

Superman. The Tooth Fairy. Leprechauns. And, of course, the Easter Bunny.

All gone. Somehow the Bogeyman survived the cut, but that’s a story for another day.

I miss the Easter Bunny. He wasn’t as cool as Santa, but I’ll never be disappointed with a magical rabbit that goes around leaving chocolate, candy and sometimes money around for people to find.

I guess it’s the reality of growing up that to find joy that we had in our childhood we have to experience it through those who haven’t had reality mess up their lives yet: Children!

Recently, the members of my family who I grew up with have actually had children of their own and those children are old enough to start enjoying some of my family”s traditions. Last year was the first Easter I’ve had in a long time where I relived the childlike joys of my past.

I watched as nieces and nephews dyed Easter Eggs any color they wanted. One of my nephews had eggs that always came out dark purple/black (which is strangely how I remember it going down when I plied that trade). Another niece managed to find the one egg that wasn’t hard boiled and splattered it everywhere (again, something I vaguely remember happening to me all to often).

The Easter Egg Hunt, which was really a candy hunt, was always my favorite part of Easter. Me, my sisters, brothers and cousins would shoot out of the house like rockets as we desperately sought out the Cadbury Crème Eggs hidden around the yard. My mother always made sure that there was one big basket of candy for each of us and always arranged it somehow that we each would find our own. Last year, watching my nieces, nephews and cousins scramble around the yard brought me back.

Now that I’m older, my attention inevitably goes to other aspects of this important holiday. I can recall how my mother made everything so beautiful for Easter Dinner. Linens, plates and dishes were always bright and colorful with spring flower arrangements serving as the centerpiece of the table. It always looked like a spring wonderland.

The lessons were learned and now my other family members have picked up the torch. The dinner tables are always immaculate. Every member of the family brings one egg-themed menu item. One of my cousins made deviled eggs with different colored egg whites. I’m still not sure how she did it and she won’t tell me. But we’re always just happy to be together.

No matter how you celebrate Easter, if you do at all, it’s always nice to know that even though the mystery of the holidays get weaker as we grow older, we have the ability to make sure that that mystery is passed down to our children. There’s something very comforting in that.

As a single man (or as some would argue a boy trapped in a man’s body), all I know about invitations is what I learned on Seinfeld from George Costanza:

To save some money on his pending wedding, George opts for the cheap invitations that have been discontinued. His fiancée, Susan, later licks the envelopes before she sends them out. The glue turns out to be toxic, Susan doesn’t make it and George is out a couple hundred bucks and his bride-to-be.

Lesson: Don’t buy the cheap invitations with discontinued, poisonous glue just to save some money.

Fair enough.

Apparently, a great deal of time and consideration should be spent on invitations to your life’s big events. Before I understood that, here is my way of inviting friends to an event or party over the phone:

Mr. Event: “Hey.”

My friend: “Hey.”

Mr. Event: “What are you doing this weekend?”

My Friend: “Don’t know. What’s up?”

Mr. Event: “Want to go to my wedding/birthday party/anniversary party/retirement party/graduation?”

My Friend: “Ummmmm.”

Mr. Event: “Free drinks.”

My Friend: “I’ll be there.”

See how simple that is?

But I get it. An invitation is important. However, it’s still hard to know the rules. For example, can you send an invitation to a party on an Evite? What about an Evite wedding invitation? Or a Facebook Message?

To get some of the invitation etiquette, we asked Hasel of Hasel B Designs for her advice (note: Hasel does NOT know who I am. Atlas employees contacted her and passed this information on to me.) Her Facebook page can be viewed here: http://www.facebook.com/haselb

Q: What events need a formal invitation?

Hasel: Most grand-scale events or even if you want to give the impression of a "grand-scale" event (whether social or business), Weddings, balls, galas, charity and non for profit grand-scale events.

Q: When is an electronic invite okay?

Hasel: Both Facebook & Evite invites are appropriate when the event is casual and not that big a deal.

Q: What should you do with an invitation once you get it?

Hasel: Appreciate it and stare at it of course! Lol, I’m just kidding!

Q: Do you have to respond, or does no response mean you can’t go?

Hasel: You must always respond by the deadline (if there is one) or within a week of receiving the invitation. Non-response (for a wedding) would typically be followed by a phone call from someone who actually has to go out of their way and take the time to harass you for a response!

Q: Do you still have to send a gift if you’re invited to a wedding shower, baby shower or wedding?

Hasel: It depends on your relationship with the invitee or host but generally speaking, it is good etiquette to do so.

Q: What’s the difference between one invitation and another?

Hasel: It is all about personal preference & style. Some people just want to set the right level of excitement for their event (or Big Day) and focus more on a customized invitation, rather than having it look like everyone else's. Some don't mind so much.

Here we are: Three days away from the moment everyone becomes Irish for twenty four hours. The day when our blood, beer and various baked goods all turn green.

A time when, as my uncle would say, “Fer the luv a ya, our spirits sore as high as the spirits in our glass and we ferget the petty problems of yesterday and look forward to the glories of tamarra! Good on ya Mr. Event! Good on ya!”

I’ve never been to the Emerald Isle, but I’ve been to my share of St. Patrick’s Day parties, bashes, get togethers, pub crawls and hootenannies. I’ve even managed to remember most of them.

One thing I have noticed over the years is that it is somewhat hard to come up with new ideas for this monochromatic celebration (beyond the consumption of copious amounts of beer of course). I mean there are only so many shades of green linens, napkins plates and chargers that one can use.

I did attend one St. Patrick’s Day dinner once where there was an extra table setting. Everyone’s table setting was green (plates, chargers, napkins and glasses), but the extra setting was all gold. It was also miniature. It didn’t take long to learn that it was the place setting for a leprechaun and his gold. No joke.

The most inventive thing that I ever saw (or enjoyed) was at an Irish Pub in Boston. You could come in and pay for all the green beer that you could drink, but the real show stopper was their corned beef and cabbage on a stick!

I happen to be a lover of any meat on a stick, but I’d never seen corned beef and cabbage skewered before. They were complimentary while they lasted but some guy (me) hit them pretty hard and they were gone before long.

I’d be very interested in hearing about your ideas for St. Patrick’s Day festivities. I guess in this case the people I’ve hung out with aren’t all that creative. What have you got lads and lassies?

Also, as always, wherever you go, make sure that you are responsible and don’t, please don’t, drink and drive!